Thursday, February 9, 2012

Chocolate. It's what brings you here, but sorry, don't have any:)


You see, I'm a recovered chocoholic. I used to be addicted. If I was hungry, I'd have me a bite. If I was bored, I'd have me a couple bites. If I was depressed or feeling some otherwise negative emotion, I'd probably have a half a bag. Let's be honest, I would steal for chocolate. And I have.

Anyway, I decided-this is stupid. Isn't it a bit ridiculous-I mean, really-a SLAVE for chocolate? Really?! What happened to self-control? What happened to dignity?....What happened to my waist?????!

I even thought, Lisa...your not THAT overweight. If you cut chocolate out of your diet you would probably stop gaining 10 or so lbs every year. I bet that's from chocolate.

But none of this was ever enough.....until one day.....Andrew and I were in the car, driving.....

It's January, 5 weeks ago, and Andrew and I are on our way home from a (insert every imaginable awesome, happy word here) Christmas/wedding/Hawaii vacay. We stop at a gas station for some food. Andrew was getting a burger from Burger King. I wasn't hungry enough for a full burger, but I just wanted the taste of something a littttttttle sweet. You know how that goes, dontchya;p So I walk around the gas station store, checkin out the goods. THERE!!! Found it. That's the perfect one. I delicately grab my treasured bag of chocolate-covered almonds, and merrily throw down the 7 or 8 bucks for them. "It's okay," the little voice inside my head says, "you deserve it." I sure as heck didn't care about its affects on me before and I sure as heck don't care now. It's chocolate. Big deal, right?

Andrew and I get on the road again, his burger mostly munched on and me eating my delectable almonds. We're talking, chatting up about life or something. I think we might have been talking about where we wanted our lives to go or something. Anywho, the point is, we were talking and mid-sentence, I said, "This is stupid, Andrew. I'm addicted to these things. I'm gonna quit right now." And after a small pause of thought, I rolled down my window and chucked the bag right out as we flew down the interstate. Andrew laughed, and I thought about the 7 bucks, but it felt GOOOOD. I didn't care. I was free. I no longer had to be addicted to chocolate and I no longer am. It's incredible. For anyone who knows me, that really is a feat. I mean I was known as the girl not to give chocolate to in elementary school-I would get incredibly hyper. So for me to quit cold turkey? Nah. But it's true. I've done it. I'm done. But how. And why.

I did it because it was controlling me and I don't like that feeling. I felt like it was silly for any kind of food to have that much power over me. I'm the one in control of my body afterall (aside from God, but you get my point.) So I quit. And I did it with His help. In the short pause before chucking the chocolate out the window, I imagined in my mind's eye my addictive tie to chocolate and then I imagined giving it to Jesus Christ. My Savior and Healer. I gave it to him cuz I wasn't doing so well with it.

And He has followed through amazingly. I believe because my motive is what it is, and because I was committed to it and have faith in it, that God has continually supported me in the rest. Funny as it is, I feel like it has gone a long way to help improve my faith in Jesus Christ. I still exercise self-control. But it's different now. I still allow myself to have chocolate every once in a while, if I want to, but it has all pretty much gone away-the desire. On average, I probably have the equivalent of one cookie every week or so. That is a SIGNIFICANT change from before. A lot of times I don't even finish the piece of sugar or chocolate I started eating (I also have stopped eating sugary food in general because I found it weakened my resolve). I don't feel deprived or anything. I no longer have an affinity or bond with chocolate. I am free.

Long story short, I believe Christ has the ability to help us with our wounds. I believe He can help in big and little things. I believe He lives to free me from debts, sin, and weaknesses. Thank you to a marvelous Heavenly Father who has provided me a plan. What can He do for you?



  1. This is the perfect post for me to read right now. I have come so far with my past problems and the only big problem I have left to work on... an eating disorder. I also have an addiction to chocolate. For real. But the other day in church a member of the bishopric suggested that we could use the atonement in smaller things as well as big things. That's when I first started thinking about applying the atonement to my eating issues. I went to the temple last night with that as my main focus as well. I think reading this today has helped give me the faith that it has been done, and I can do it too. Thanks so much for sharing Lisa. Love you!

  2. You are welcome, Miss Beautiful Mary. I have a couple thoughts to add for clarity, if its needed. In my situation, I did not treat my chocolate issue as a food issue. I treated it as an addiction issue. I feel like this is what allowed me to believe that Christ could heal me.

    Also, I read in Doctrine and Covenants 29 yesterday, and Christ talks about how every commandment is a spiritual commandment, not a temporal commandment. We could probably include the Word of Wisdom in this. All I'm saying is, it never connected with me before that the issue was a spiritual one. My intent has been pure and clear and good-to free myself from an unhealthy habit that affects me emotionally, psychologically, and physically, and to simultaneously focus on doing good things for me-like eating green foods more. I didn't focus on the body. If this needs doctrinal correction or understanding, let me know.

    Anywho, I love you, and I think it's pretty amazing how much you have been through and continue to share with, brighten, and uplift others along the way. Thanks for being awesome, you!